think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
