im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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