i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
