I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
