he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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