He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
