I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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