omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
