to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize