I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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