fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
