Swine flu. Run for my life!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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