Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
