Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
