i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
