So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
