ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm always down for nudity.
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