haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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