We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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