This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
