my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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