Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
