i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I will be naked everywhere
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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