Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
