Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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