My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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