No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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