I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
