i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need moral support for this bender
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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