I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize