You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
