So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
