Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
