if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize