i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
