FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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