Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
