WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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