Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
