I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
