Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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