but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
