I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
PANTIES FOUND
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