he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize