Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
