I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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