Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
