your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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