yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
