Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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