Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
