Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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