Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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