Don't you send me to vm
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
