Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
