What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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