i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
