And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
