this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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