eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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